The Manic Rikshawvaala – I

In Mumbai , autorikshaws are a very familiar figure. They occupy pretty much each and every open space in a traffic jam competing with the likes of audi’s , bmws and marutis and normally beating them in the race.  Daily commute to office is normally peppered with encounters with rikshawvaala’s normally centering about their refusal for low distance travels or wrong fares and tampered meters.
It was 5 am in the morning; I had to go to airport. The road was pretty much empty. It was drizzling slightly but since my destination was not having any rain forecast, the adventurer inside me didn’t believe in taking any umbrella. So I was standing under a tree hoping for the rickshaw fellow to come before the drizzle becomes a downpour . First two rickshaws went by without any response to my Hos... The next one comes and asks me where I want to go. I replied “Domestic airport” . He asks me to hop in. After going for about 1 minute or so , I realize that he has not started his fare meter. Thinking that he forgot about it , I request him to start the fare-meter. The rikshaw fellow didn’t bother to reply. The roads are all empty , the drizzle has become a downpour now. I once again requested him to start the fare-meter to which he replies “Boss , the fare meter will not be turned on” . As I stared with concern at the autorikshaw fellow’s tone and the surrounding empty road. I tightened my grip on my cell , planning to make a emergency call just in case. I asked with a bit stern tone, why he won’t be turning the fare-meter? Is he expecting some fixed fare? If that is the case he should have negotiated it before making me sit and blah blah blah blah. Listening to my blah blahs , he responded with another punch. He said that he won’t be taking any fare from me. I thought this will be very ironic the way my trip will end even before it begins , being murdered by a manic serial killer driving a rickshaw on the empty streets of the Mumbai. A fitting end to a very violent life.
As I was preparing myself for the eventuality, I observed that he had turned the rikshaw towards a group of rikshaws which were standing on the intersection. As the rikshaw slowed , he ho hoed the group and asked whether anybody was interested in a fare to domestic airport. As one fellow came forward , I asked the rikshaw fellow why he himself was not coming to the airport. He replied back that, he has to carry kids to school and since I was standing all alone in rains, he thought of taking me to the closest rickshaw stand on his way to the kids. As I thanked and said my farewell to him, the song that came to my mind was Des Mera Rangrez

Of Somerset Maugham and Me

I was introduced to Somerset Maugham by one of my friends B who had passed on the book “On Razor’s Edge” to me in 2002. It was at a time where my brain was absorbing each and every trash and as I read the first few chapters which most of the time talked about the love interests, settling down plans, picnics and such fun of a girl and her fiancé I thot whether B has finally gone bonkers to give me such a stupid book? But then there was something in that book, the way it was written which stopped me from putting down that book and then came the Somerset twist when the guy refused to accept the high paying job giving high funda excuses and then came the twist of girl refusing to marry the fellow since he is not accepting the high paying job and as the novel moved from one such twist to another, I was left wondering at the deviousness of the writer. And the evil simplicity in which he had bought the novel to a *Happy Ending* left me numb. That novel did force me to take a look at the way things were going on in my life.

My second encounter with Maugham was when I got hold of the book Of Human Bondage in the public library. It was a story of a guy who had a club foot. Story of his growing up, facing discrimination and the way he reacted to that discrimination most of the time in not so admirable or noble way. How hard he tries to win over the affection of a waitress and how each time she comes to him for support and ditches him when she recovers. It was rare for me to get hold of a book which had a very *human* central character who in a very selfish way lived for himself, went around doing all acts in a very *human* way, showing human emotions of being hurt and then reacting to his emotions in a very human way with no penchant for showing greatness or acting in a noble way. Reading that book at itz own pace was a very memorable experience for me. I went again and again through the book and completely exhausted myself. 

And now I was completely smitten by Mr Maugham and his books , his way of writing and his thinking process and had Maugham festival at the nearby public library .
The next encounter with Maugham which became ingrained in my memory was because it came after my friendly banter with the rental office lady. She had just joined the apartment complex where we used to stay and seemed to be very much curious about the Indians and the Indian culture. Seeing her curiosity, I was expecting a question from her about the arranged marriage system in India and the question came when I had gone to pay the monthly rent with 2 of my friends … As we explained to her, the intricacies of the arranged marriage and how the match making is done ,  and how the divorce rates in India is the lowest , I myself was not much convinced. It was at this time while reading the story Moon and Six Pence. The story line is something like , as always there is a happy family where the husband is ultra-rich and wife is ultra-devoted to him until a friend comes by. The wife abandons the rich fellow and goes away with the poor friend of her husband.

While describing this, I came across the below lines -
“I do not suppose she had ever really cared for her husband, and what I had taken for love was no more than the feminine response to caresses and comfort which in the minds of most women passes for it. It is a passive feeling capable of being roused for any object, as the vine can grow on any tree; and the wisdom of the world recognizes its strength when it urges a girl to marry the man who wants her with the assurance that love will follow. It is an emotion made up of the satisfaction in security, pride of property, the pleasure of being desired, the gratification of a household, and it is only by an amiable vanity that women ascribe to it spiritual value. It is an emotion which is defenseless against passion”

I rewound my memory several times to see whether this aspect is the reason why the Indian arranged marriages end up in and they happily lived ever after
Over the years , There have been several encounters between me and Maugham which helped me further crystallize myself and sometimes justify the way I reacted to several situations. Over these encounters I got hold of below –
 

Beauty you seldom see face to face. Look at it well, for what you see now you will never see again , since the moment is transitory, but it will be an imperishable memory in your heart. You touch eternity
Edward Barnard in "Fall of Edward Barnard"
 

The more he learns , the more he wants and the more unhappy he becomes.
The Razor's Edge

If to look truth in the face and not resent it when it’s unpalatable, and take human nature as you find it, smiling when it’s absurd and grieved without exaggeration when it’s pitiful, is to be cynical then I suppose I am a cynic. Mostly human nature is both absurd and pitiful, but if life has taught you tolerance you find it more to smile at than to weep.
The Back of Beyond

It would be very easy if you could do a beastly thing and then say you are sorry afterwards and that put it all right again. One could do a dastardly thing if one chose, but it is contemptible to regret it afterwards
On Human Bondage

I do not confer praise or blame. I accept. I am the measure of all things. I am the centre of the world.
On Human Bondage

 My most emphatic encounter with Maugham was inside a Jiffy Lube , on a cold wintry morning when I read
One mustn’t expect gratitude. It’s a thing that no has right to. After all, you do good because it gives you pleasure. It’s the purest form of happiness there is. To expect thanks for it is really asking too much. If you get it well , well , it’s like a bonus on the shares on which you have already received the dividend; it’s grand, but you mustn’t look upon as your due

I was shocked, had one of the most extreme moments of doubt. I pretty much questioned the way I had behaved throughout my life in a human way rather than the humane way. And then I decided , I will do good if I feel like doing good , otherwise I will continue being my good old impulsive self regardless what others perceive me.