The *Jedi* Me

:| So it was just another day in office. The previous day I had slept at 3:30am so I was dead tired , ready to collapse into bed and go into a heavenly slumber .. I realized this as I was dozing off, I mean taking a power nap session in my chair. Well 3:30 am :O it wont be previous day , it will be that day only, well all the troubles and hardship I make my poor solo body suffer .

So coming to my power-nap session, I suddenly realized that my power nap session was going on in full visibility of all the ppl moving around the sitting area ( ppl need to move a bit so that they can also take a comfortable posture and go to sleep ). Understanding the bad implications of having witnesses for such incidences, I decided to go for the supreme sacrifice of my urge to sleep and assumed a zombie like stance and focused my moronic stare on my computer monitor. Realizing how difficult this task was I decided to take a small walk before continuing with my zombie like stance and moronic stare. And so I started my walk towards the Pantry Room.

On the way I met a colleague who was kind enough to point out my zombie looks and started wondering aloud the reasons behind it. With a kindness which was matching his (on second thoughts exceeding his kindness), I asked him to mind his own business and continued my stagger towards kitchen. Somewhere on the way to kitchen, I thought why not take the help of trusted caffeine to control my heavenly urges. This brainwave powered my next two steps when I hit the wall well not literally just figuratively. Coffee from vending machine needs money, not exactly money as in a round figure of 10 bucks or so but exact change of 75 cents that too in denominations of 5, 10 & 25 ( no cents )and there was a very less chance of me carrying 75 cents in this denomination in my pocket. So as I reeled from the impact, I saw HP giving the (now) famous moronic stare in zombie stance to his monitor. So I somehow reached, woke him up and begged/pleaded for 75 cents.  HP’s belief in People empowerment rather than disbursing financial aid (stinginess is a more apt word) led him to give me a coffee of bottle powder ( I mean bottle of coffee powder ) and I trudged towards the kitchen.. In the kitchen I filled the plastic glass with hot water, kept it on the table and was about to fill it with the creamer and sugar that I realized the glass was moving towards my outstretched palm in the same way Luke Skywalker had pulled his light saber … I shook myself awake, pinched myself hard , went and again woke up HP and revealed him about my jedi capabilities and we discussed whether there is any way  my midi-chlorians count can be measured.

I came back to pantry room and  tried again.. Lo!!! the Jedi Power still held supreme , the glass was still coming towards my palm. With my faith resting in my supreme jedi abilities, I leapt forward with a cup of coffee, well not exactly leapt but trundled forward to fight another day at office . well it was not exactly a day , more of 3 hrs or so :|

p.s : This was originally posted somewhere in 2007 during the *good old days* in the much maligned yahoo blog 

A Crutched Event ....

And so life was going on with all its smoothness. Few days back, my last day in the USofA was finalized and we had unanimously decided to bring the heaven on earth one more time before that. My knee sprain had pretty much healed. Sep 25 2009 call was over. Mrs HP had delivered a boy panda. Saturday all of us had a gala time in the hospital.

Sunday 27 2009 dawned. I had a strange sense of foreboding since the time I got up. Me and HP went in my car to WMart to purchase a crib. And we did get the crib and while loading it on the car there was a awkward moment of pause and I knew something had gone horribly wrong with my right leg. As sweat broke over my eye-brows, I informed HP of my inability to help him in doing any of the further lifting of the crib. The understanding HP took care of loading the crib onto the car. And when he peeped inside the car, I was sitting on the passenger seat. I further informed HP about my inability to drive the car so the understanding HP took the car-keys and started driving. We reached HP’s house and JD popped out from his familiar perch on balcony. We informed him about my status and asked him to come down and lend some of his shoulder to carry the crib to the house. With the crib safely inside the house, HP came back to have a look at me and seeing my condition went back to get some pain relievers. JD went around telling all that I have injured my leg and so SP came and sat with me for some time, Big B came and peeped at me as if I am an injured animal caught inside a cage. HP decided that showing off has gone for long time and decided to drop me at my house. With my brain numbed by the pain, I acceded.

So HP drove me to my house and I tried to get off, I realized that I was not able to place my right leg on the ground. HP tried his best to coax me towards the door. I hobbled with his shoulder for support for 2-3 steps. Realizing the amount of pain each step resulted in, my brain finally went into action and I decided whatever has happened warranted a visit to the emergency. HP said he will take me to emergency, I said he should be free so as to cater to Mrs HP’s need. And so we targeted on JD to be the person to take me to the emergency but as JD was without any car or any conveyance method at that time ( knowing JD , this is expected ). So HP took me back to his house in my car, gave directions to JD on how to reach the emergency medical center and then JD drove me to the emergency. On the way my cell rang and it was my parents calling from India. For a moment I debated whether to tell them the truth or not and in the end picked up the phone and told them that I was on my way to emergency after doing something to my leg. Dad asked me few questions to confirm whether a broken bone was involved. After listening to my answers he gave his judgment that no bones are broken.

At the emergency entrance, I hobbled down on one leg. I went over to the attendant to ask the procedures and the attendant without answering rushed back in. So I hobbled along a few steps to see the attendant back with the wheelchair. By this time JD was there after parking the car. He and the attendant loaded me on a wheelchair and JD once again took the responsibility of steering me. The receptionist gave us a couple of forms to fill and directed us to the emergency attendant. The attendant started asking me stupid questions. I answered the first few questions and then asked her why she was asking me such questions. She replied that she was supposed to ask such questions so as to confirm whether the injury had any impact on my saneness or whether I was going into a shock or something. I said ok fine …. And once again the question answer session continued. She asks me “Whether I felt safe at home” and I remembered the intensity with which SS used to watch the WWE fights and burst out laughing. She also started laughing and pointed out that this was the first time I had laughed after coming to the emergency and she was concerned that I was going into a shock because of the pain. And as I lighted up a bit, she asked her final question “How much will I rate the pain on a scale of 1 to 10? 1 being the least painful and 10 being the worst I ever experienced” I thought for a few minutes and decided I had experienced more pain that this and said 6-7. The attendant took a look at me and said she is rating the pain at 9. I was about to argue about the rating and then thought wtf . And then the waiting started .... HP called up to check the status and we informed him about the waiting game , to which he responded he is at the hospital to check on Mrs HP and the baby.

Almost at the same time the attendant came and wheeled me into the treatment area. As the doctors and nurse crowded around me, I told them what happened and then they started the pulling and pushing, twisting and turning business on my leg. The decision was unanimous, no bones broken; the ligament would have taken a slight tear. They gave me some pain killers advised me a visit to general physician, one week’s full bed rest and gifted me with a pair of crutches. At that time HP trooped in and instead of showing concern about me, started playing around with the crutches. One of the nurses asked me whether I knew how to use the crutches .. I said “This will be my first time” so she gave a demo and handed me a booklet on instructions on using crutches .. Since everything was done, we started leaving. Once again , I was put on the wheelchair .. Now HP took on the responsibility of steering me and mistook my wheelchair to his Honda Accord and vroomed vroomed me around the treatment area with me hanging on to the handle bars.. Somehow I was able to control HP and all of us landed up fine in the Chesterfield , the same spot where it was decided to go to the emergency ..

3 floors were remaining between me and promised bed rest. During the last attempt, I was without any crutches to help my climb .. But now the crutches were there . So the tedious climb started. It took me 30 minutes to climb the 3 floors with HP and JD hobbling in and around me ensuring that I have the right grips and balances and don't go tumbling down the stairs. Finally I was on the bed. One day back I had gone to library and the books were lying all around the place. I asked JD to get all the books near my bed. Now with me properly cushioned up in the bed , I realized that I had to take my medicines and I had not eaten anything since morning. This time JD came to the rescue ( for a change , he was completely equipped ), and he got a tiffin full of rotis and Paneer Bhurji . Lunch and a round of steroids made me all drowsy and I had my well deserved bed rest.

And so I thought of penning down my thoughts, my frustration at being confined to bed for a week and all the various ways I can spend the time.


p.s - I had penned this long back ... Probably within a month of my injury but was scared of posting it.. Now almost 2 years after the injury and the knee pretty much healed up, I think I can post it. The only significant change that I did was changing the title from A Crutched Life to A Crutched Event. The initial estimate of slight ligament tear turned out to horribly wrong.It was revealed to be a major tear in ACL and significant damage on my meniscus with the Dr even scheming a surgery on my knee. I was on crutches for more than 2 months ,limped all the way from US to Mumbai to India , had physiotherapy for more than 4 months before doctor was confident that I can resume my life but with lot of care and precautions.
The heaven which we were planning in Las Vegas didn't happen but the 3 months of bare minimum activity I was able to enjoy a heaven that pretty well made up for all the heavens that Vegas could offer. Those impromptu parties at JD and Big B's house and the famous Poha Party amidst a raging snowstorm .. How KB drove all the way from Jersey City with his broken finger to check out on me and how we 2 invalids , one with a broken hand and one with crutches had gone to watch a movie leaving rest of the valids gang sleeping in my house. How everybody arranged their office schedule so as to drop/pick me up from the doctor/physiotherapist etc. The way Mr and Mrs PM were insisting that I shift to their house so that they can take better care of me.. How SS cancelled his weekend visits to his sister's place to cater to me and the speed with which we had finished the huge box of donuts on the first weekend after injury.

These 3 months did give me a nice idle time to reflect over the time I had spent in USofA.

The Spirit Of The Crusaders

I have principle and no power
You have power and no principle
You being you
And I being I
Compromise is out of the question
So let the battle begin...

I have truth and no force
You have force and no truth
You being you
And I being I
Compromise is out of the question
So let the battle begin...

You may club my skull
I will fight
You may crush my bones
I will fight
You may bury me alive
I will fight
With truth running through me
I will fight
With every ounce of my strength
I will fight
With my last dying breath
I will fight...
I will fight till the
Castle that you built with your lies
Comes tumbling down
Till the devil you worshipped with your lies
Kneels down before my angel of truth. 

This poem is by Bhuchung Sonam. I came across it in one of the news items in Times of India.